COVID communication is fraught, especially when a family member is very ill. At such a time, only one thing matters: patient recovery. Asking these questions can enable patient and family conversations with hospital staff to focus on that goal.

As COVID diminishes, rhetoric is rising. Unfortunately, it’s driving a wedge between clinicians and patients. The division is worst for family members of patients admitted to the hospital, since many still do not allow visiting hours.

How can you be assured your loved one is getting good hospital care?

First, maximize your opportunity to get reports. You are likely to get good results if you ask courteously for a daily briefing, for several reasons.

Hospital staff know anxiety slows healing, and they know family insights can help with care. No one knows your loved one like you do.

Communication between family and staff is valuable for everyone, especially the patient.

Nurses are the most likely to be talking to you. Although they recently polled as the most-respected US professionals for the 20th year in a row, nurses are stressed as never before. System demands, rude coworkers, mandates, and shortages all take a toll.

Your appreciation of their efforts for your loved one could make their day.

To focus the conversation, ask these questions.

• Are you concerned about his/her heart, lungs, kidneys, or mental process?
• What concerns you most today?
• Is it the same, better, or worse than yesterday?
• What is being done for it?

Recovery can be very slow – baby steps, in fact. Be prepared for concerns to move from one area of the body to another.

As long as you hear clear, detailed answers to these questions, you can be confident you’re on the right communication track. If your loved one is showing even slight improvements, you can hope for more improvement over time.

From the experience of several long-haulers that I know, recovery takes longer than anyone anticipates. It’s unlike heart attack, stroke, or other debilitating illness. It has its own timeline.

However, if staff report worsening symptoms, be prepared with one more question:

What can we do to change that?

Using these five questions to focus on your family member’s progress, you can be a great patient advocate and improve their chances of recovery. I’m pulling for you!